Bring Him Home...

Nothing can truly prepare you for deployment. No number of pep talks, encouraging words from other people, or even coffee dates with friends can prepare you for the lonely days and nights, the anxiety felt when waiting for those phone calls or even a text. But the truth is, that's ok. Deployments are hard, it's hard to be away from the person you love for months on end, especially with so many unknowns staring you in the face. There are scary moments and happy moments, but it is all worth it because in the end he comes home.

Through the first two months of 2016, I dealt with the love of my life being over 2,000 miles away from me in a foreign country. We fought 14 hour time differences, sleepless nights, and long days. Skype and Facebook became our confidants as we messaged and talked as often as we could. Finally, the day came that he would fly across the water and come home to me.

On the day of Tyler's homecoming, I was a nervous wreck. It's true what they say, you spend hours that day trying to look like a perfect lady, but the minute you see him walking towards you, you're willing to drop-kick anyone who gets in the way. While he flew 17 hours to get back to North Carolina I drove 6 hours up the coast to a new place and a new culture that was totally foreign to me.

When I arrived at Camp Lejeune the sights of miles of fences decorated in colorful "Welcome Home signs greeted me. The guards at the main gate had o doubt what I was there for and as they waved me through I couldn't help but stop breathing for a second. The reality of the new world I was about to enter terrified me and excited me, all at the same time. Driving down the long and dark road that entered Lejeune I breathed and thought about the fact that in only an hour I would finally be in the arms of the man I loved and have waited months for.

My best friend and I stood in the dark, shivering from the cold and excitement of everything going on around us. After what seemed like forever, we finally heard excited cheers as other wives and fiances met their men in uniform. I frantically searched the crowd for Tyler, but couldn't find him. You would think that I would have no problem picking out the 6'5" cowboy from Arizona in a crowd of Marines, but they all looked exactly the same. As I looked to the left and my friend looked to the right I felt anxious and afraid. And then I saw him.

He stood on the end of the sidewalk and we stood there for a while and just looked at each other. Then he walked towards me and wrapped me in his arms. There is nothing, nothing at all, like that first embrace. All of the tension and anxiety and sadness that had been building up over the months that he was away melted off of me.

As I sit here writing this I am, once again looking forward to another one of those wonderful embraces in just a little over a month when he returns home again. Nothing prepares you for the man you love being away. The days are never easy, and the goodbyes will always be the hardest thing that you will ever have to do. In the end, though, they are so worth it, because, in the end, he comes home.

Update

The past three weeks have been a whirlwind of activity. The past three weeks have also been three of the best weeks of my entire life. Over the next few days I will slowly be posting updates and sharing with you all about the events of the past three weeks. Thank you so much to everyone who has continued to check up and look for new posts, I promise that in the next week you will not be dissapointed.

Impossible...

Boy. Girl.
Country. City. Desert. Ocean.
Cowboy. Musician. Athlete. Adventurous.
Dancer. Singer. Actor. Nerd.
Digging trenches. Riding bulls.
Playing with dolls. Drinking Starbucks.

A summer.
A camp.
Horse. Desert.
A glimpse of the future.
Exchanged smiles.

College.
Dating.
Introduced.
Friends.
Brother and sister.
A bond.
A feeling.
Wondering. Feeling. Thinking.
Relationships ending.
Friendship lasting.
Inseparable.

Possibly? Maybe?
Only thoughts. Never words.
Impossible.

Days. Months. Years.
She. College student.
He. Military bound.
Phone calls. Text messages.
Surprise visits.
Hugs. Conversations.
Feelings. Dreams.
Impossible.
Tears. Prayers.

Trials. Support. Protecting.
Graduation.
Re-united.
Smiles. Hugs. Realization.
Knowing.
Only thoughts. Only desires.
Impossible.

She. Finishes school.
He. Deploys.
Late Skype calls.
Wishing. Dreaming.
One night.

More than friends? No
Maybe. Could we?
Yes.
Like? No. Oh.
Love.
Best friends.
Soulmates.
Impossible becomes possible.
Reaching out. Taking the chance.

Best friends. Lovers. Soulmates.
Answered prayers.
Smiles.
This is forever.
Impossible. No. Possible.

And Lord, Make Him My Best Friend...

If someone had told me six months ago that before the year was over I would fall in love with my best friend and end up dating him, I definitely would have laughed at them. I've been in a few relationships since high school and if there is one thing that they have taught me it is this, don't get your hopes up.

For quite a while I had felt like I was weird or out of place. I was never asked to anything, I didn't go out on dates, and I was actually ok with that. I fought with the discontentment and the feeling of worthlessness for most of my college career, but when I returned to school this fall those feelings were long gone, and I found myself seeking contentment in the plan that God had for me and not what I wanted.

Here is something else that I have been learning lately. When you ask God for something...He listens. It doesn't mean that He will give you what you want at that exact moment, it may take weeks or months, sometimes even years. In my case it was years. Years of praying for God to bring me the right man. It wasn't until I learned to be content in my singleness, though, the God decided to make my dreams come true.

I would love to say that my love story is different and unique, and in some ways it is, but the basic story line is similar to many others. Despite that fact, it is still the most beautiful love story I have ever read, because it is mine.

I met Tyler on a crisp October afternoon. He was hanging out with friends and I was introduced to him by the young man I was dating at the time. When I first met him I thought he was a rough cowboy who was too full of himself. Looking back, I can't say that I would change my mind about my first impression of him. But, despite popular opinion, people change and first impressions can be wiped away when relationships develop. Through our many conversations about how we met, i've come to learn that Tyler's first impression of me was fairly similar to my first impression of him. Funny how time changes people.

Tyler and I stayed very, very close through college, even after he left to join the Marine Corp during our Sophomore year. We were like brother and sister, but we had a very special bond. He was one of my best friends, always there when I needed him. Willing to give advice and protect me. There was not one day that I did not thank God for our friendship because he was a constant in my life when many other things were falling apart. That is something that now, looking back, I see as a huge sign.

I had always asked God to let me fall in love with my best friend, someone who was always there for me. I guess God doesn't just listen to our prayers, He follows through with them too. Maybe not in the timing that we had wanted. Maybe days, months, or years. For me, it was years. Years of praying and searching and waiting until one day God told me to look up in a room full of people and I noticed Tyler in a way I never had before. It was in that moment that I saw God's answer to prayers. That was the day I fell in love with my best friend.

Sending the Letters

If someone had told me six months ago that I would be at the stage in my life that I am right now, I would have laughed in their face. Never, in my wildest dreams did I ever imagine that I would graduate from college, go to Disney, and fall in love with my best friend all in the same week.

They say that your whole life can change in the span of one second. I never realized how true that was until December 16 after my last final exam was done and I drove off of campus. The whole world was laying in front of me, I had limitless opportunities. Little did I know that they were about to get better.

2016 is going to be the busiest, most exciting, happiest year of my entire life, and I really can't think of a better way to record the memories from it than by blogging about it. With college behind me and many adventures ahead I want to dedicate this year's blog posts to the things that are going on in my life right now. This year I will be sharing stories with you of job hunting, vacations, and falling in love.

This year, the letters are getting sent.