A Love I Will Never Understand...

Happy Valentine's Day! I hope that all of you are enjoying your day and that something put a smile on your face today, even if it had absolutely nothing to do with chocolate or roses. I know I promised blog posts for my Love series, but for some reason this week writing has not come as naturally to me as it normally does. I didn't want to just leave you all hanging though, so I wanted to share something with you that I have been learning this past week, and it actually is about love.

People ask me all the time, "Why do you believe in God?" The answer is simple to me, but complex to others. I can't explain it in words that even make sense, but I'll try. I believe in God because it blows my mind that someone would love me enough to sacrifice their most prized possession so that I could spend eternity with Him. That is why I believe in God. This week God has been showing me more and more how deeply He loves me. He loves me enough to open my eyes to see a sunrise and wonder at the glory of His creation. He loves me enough to give me peace in the midst of a storm. He loves me enough to put me through one of the most heart-wrenching and painful things I've been through in a while just so that He can draw me closer to Himself. Me, a filthy sinner. He loves me so much with a love that I will never understand.

I don't have a boyfriend, but I do have people who love me. Most importantly, though, I have a God who is jealously, passionately in love with me. He will never leave me lonely, He will never not

be there. His love is so deep, and so wide I will never be able to have a love that compares. On this Valentine's Day I want to thank God for loving me with a love that I will never understand.

A Month of Love...

Happy February and welcome to the month of love.

Sometimes I feel like February could be easily equated to The Hunger Games. All the single people seem to stand out a little bit more and the saying "May the odds be ever in your favor," seems slightly appropriate. 

In all seriousness though, I think that the month of February has become a month filled with a hyped up commercial holiday that has pushed aside the true meaning of love. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not opposed to celebrating Valentine's day at all, I just want to point out that the image of love that has been created by Valentine's Day is not the true image of love. 

So what is love then? Sure, love can be giving a gift to your significant other or carrying in the groceries for the neighbor lady, but it is also so much deeper than that. Love has levels that are not even comprehensible to man. This month I want to publish a series of blogs about examples of that deep love that we see in the Bible. Sure, I'll use some of the common examples, but I also want to find other examples that at first may not seem so loving, but when you look closer you will see it.

I am super excited to try this, and I hope that you are excited to read!

The Little Things...

Doritos and chocolate milk...
Those were two of our favorite things to eat on a Friday or Saturday night while watching a movie.
We would sit on the couch in my living room, curled up in our comfy clothes with blankets and we would become captivated in thrilling tales of love or adventure.
Every Birthday or school party that we ever had one of us would be responsible to bring half of our favorite treat, and it would be the only thing we would eat all night.
It was "our thing." Some people thought we were the weirdest teenagers ever, truth was we totally were, but we didn't care, we thought it was the best food in the world.

To us it was never about what we could buy for one another.
We never did anything together that was out of the ordinary or spectacular.
To us the things that made life special were the little things, like Doritos and chocolate milk.

When you left, I never drank chocolate milk or ate Doritos.
I was almost afraid to let the taste even come close to my mouth.
I didn't want to remember anything about what we once were.
I didn't want to remember you, so I didn't.

I would skip over the bowl of Doritos at any party and turn down chocolate milk for a glass of water almost effortlessly.
As the years went by I allowed my fears of remembering control every part of me.
I always live terrified that someday I would remember too much.
I got rid of all of "our" little things.

I went to college, and as hard as I tried to forget, there was something within me that nagged at me to just let go and remember some of the good things.
"It isn't wrong!" the suppressed memories screamed at me.
Rather than remember, though, I tried to dampen the sound by putting new things in place of the old.

This Christmas I learned that it's ok to remember the little things.
Sometimes the things that were "ours" weren't really ours.
They were little things that made our lives special, sometimes together, sometimes apart.
I'm learning to remember the good things, and not let my fears get the better of me.

Each day is a new adventure in what I now know to be normal,
Sure you're not here, and we aren't friends anymore, but that's ok, that's exactly what was supposed to happen.
Tonight I had Doritos and on a whim I grabbed a glass of chocolate milk.
Funny thing is, I also watched a movie in comfy clothes snuggled under a blanket.
I remembered a little, but they were happy memories, good memories, and I was ok.
It's not always the big things, sometimes it's just the little things.
Those little things make new memories too.
They did for me.
I hope they do for you.

A Prayer for Change.

On Thursday evening I had the privilege of getting to be a part of Bob Jones University history. Each year, at the beginning of the semester, there are 50 students who are asked to go backstage and pray during the opening evangelistic services. This semester I was asked to be apart of this special event. As the evening's service began we joined in singing with the congregation, or at least we attempted to, then when the speaker began to preach we began to pray.

Students prayed for the audience members, and for a revival among the students at Bob Jones University. There were prayers for friends and family members who were listening, as well as for those who participated through the evening's webcast. As I sat there, listening to the prayers that others lifted up I was hit by the reality of how cool it was to be in a room of students who shared my heart for the Lord, as well as my desire to see lives changed. As I began to get comfortable with what was being prayed there was another girl who began to pray that the group in that room would stop praying for a revival among the students of our university.

I think at that point in the evening everyone in the room was shocked by what she had just said. She then followed that by praying that there would be a revival in each individual person at our university. I was hit with the reality that I could not pray for a revival or a change in the lives of others, unless I was first praying for a revival or change in my own life.

Not only was I able to be a very special part of history, but I was convicted without even sitting in a service! God works in mysterious ways. This year I want to stop praying for revival and change in those around me, instead I want to commit to praying for it and seeing it in my own life.

A Resolution...

Well Dear Readers, we are into the second week of the new year :) It is so exciting to see what God is already doing in 2014. I am normally not the kind person who likes to make New Year's resolutions, but this year I thought that maybe I would. I didn't want to just pick any old resolution that at least 100 other people chose too, I wanted something that I could pick to be uniquely mine.

As I was sitting in the guest room at my sister's house on New Year's Eve I notices one of the pictures hanging on the wall. All it says is "Rejoice Always, Pray Without Ceasing, Give Thanks in All Circumstances." at the bottom was 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18. As I was looking at that I thought that those three things could be taken as a resolution. I chose to make my New Year's resolution exactly what that picture said, based on Scripture.

To rejoice always, in all circumstances. Both good and bad. In situations that are big and ones that are small. No matter what happens, I am choosing to rejoice.

To pray without ceasing. Every day, I want to have a spirit of prayer that honors the Lord. I want to be able to pray when serious situations arise, and I also want to be able to pray for things that may sometimes seem a little silly.

To give thanks in all circumstances. Every circumstance, not just the ones that I like. In the circumstances that God uses to test me, and in the ones that make me smile. Sometimes my thanks may come out intermittent with tears, but I want to always be thankful for everything.

Already this year the Lord has handed me situations where I have had to stop and think about what I have committed to do this year. Already God has tested my faith by throwing things at me that I never expected. I hope and pray that each day when I wake up, no matter what comes my way I will remember what my New Year's Resolution is and I will Rejoice Always, Pray Without Ceasing, and Give Thanks in All Circumstances.

A Year in Review...

I can't believe that 2013 is coming to a close. This year has flown by for me.

My year began by ringing in 2013 with my family in our home in Greenville. Shortly after I returned to The Bob to start my fourth semester of college. I studied Elementary Education and through that semester the Lord saw fit to change my direction, I switched my major to Pre-Physical Therapy before leaving school in May.

My summer started on May 4 with a quick trip to Idaho to see my best friend's family, and then another short trip to Seattle to see my family before heading to the sunny mountains of California to work with horses for the summer at camp. During my ten weeks at camp the Lord really worked in my life, and I was able to break down many walls that I had allowed to build around my heart. On August 3 I headed off for my next line-up of small trips before heading back to school in the fall.

I arrived at school in late August ready to go for my fifth semester. I loved my classes and I was blessed with incredible teachers. Throughout the semester, the Lord once again worked in my life in many ways, he allowed closure on things from my past and gave me many new beginnings. I once again switched my major after receiving much counsel and I am looking forward to starting my new year by returning to study Communications.

Thanksgiving and Christmas were a whirlwind of activity with friends and family. I spent Thanksgiving break with two of my amazing friends, and then spent Christmas with my family in Seattle. I will be ringing in 2014 in Northern California with my sister, brother-in-law, and their six kids, just like I did for many years when I was in high school.

God has blessed me tremendously this past year. He has worked in my heart, and the hearts of my friends and family, in ways that I never imagined. He has blessed me with incredible relationships and awesome experiences. On January 1, 2013 I claimed this to be "My Year," the year in which I would go beyond where I had gone before, and I truly did. Sure, there were things that I wished for on that new Years day that didn't end up happening, but instead I was able to learn lessons about friendship, and patience.

As you, my dear readers, ring in the New Year with your family and friends, take some time to look back on your year and at all of the incredible things that God has done for. May God bless you and your family in this coming year. Happy New Year! :)

Careless Christianity...

The other day as I was perusing some of the top trending news articles on CNN, I came across one that really peaked my interest. A college student at a small Catholic University was shot and killed when involved in altercation with a campus police officer. The student refused to comply to the requests of the officer and even took the officers weapon from him and proceeded to beat him with it. In self defense the officer took several shots which resulted in the death of the student. This article was one of the top ten articles read on CNN's website that day. It puzzled me why an article about a small Catholic University shooting would pose so much interest as well as controversy, and yet two weeks earlier when a very similar incident happened at a small Christian college in Virginia, Liberty University, the only station that reported on it was the local news. It never hit any major news stations. Why was this?

I then began to think about the possibility being because it was a Christian school. In our twenty-first century society Christianity is not placed in the best light. Christians are viewed as judgmental, hypocritical, and even rude. People want absolutely nothing to do with Christians or their God, and in many places the death of a Christian is something that some would rejoice over. Why have we come to be viewed that way? Because the truth is...we are. We are careless with our Christianity, and our carelessness has led to our being judgmental, hypocritical, and rude to those around us. We view ourselves as above the rest, when we should be viewing ourselves as on the same level, or even dare I say it less that those around us. We ought to be serving and teaching others about who our God truly is.

We have no problem being friends with those who are open homosexuals and yet we wouldn't dare witness to them for fear of being rejected.

Some stare down their noses at those who listen to CCM and condemn them in their weekly church services, and yet they have no problem getting in their car and listening to music that talks about sex and drugs.

We talk about trusting Christ in times of trial and knowing He has a perfect plan and yet some Christian parents wouldn't hesitate to throw their pregnant 15 year old daughter on the doorstep and tell her to never come home.

We grow a hatred and bitterness in our hearts for those who have wronged us in our past and yet we have no problem with sitting at our dinner table and stuffing our faces with way more than we need and committing the sin of gluttony.

Some frown at those who smoke cigarettes on the sidewalks outside of their workplaces and yet they would have no problem going to a party and getting so drunk they can hardly walk straight.

There are so many ways that on a daily basis we contradict ourselves. We make big things out of the little things, we are caught up in the systematic theology rather than the basic doctrine of our faith. I am guilty of this just as much as the next person. When it comes down to it though, what is truly the most important thing? The most important thing is not whether or not someone attends a baptist church or a more contemporary church, whether you wear jeans or not, rather it is our personal relationship with Jesus Christ. The Bible is very clear about what needs to be important to us, as Christians. We need to have a relationship with Christ, we need to be in the Word in order to grow, we need to have fellowship with other believers in a church setting where the Bible is honored and preached, we need to serve.  The Ten Commandments and The Fruits of the Spirit are not lists of suggestions of things that we could do or things that we could have, they are lists of commands as to how we must live our lives. Love doesn't encompass some, it encompasses all. Joy doesn't mean only when things are going well, it means all the time even when your world is so dark you can't see a few inches in front of you. We are so caught up in catching everyone else's sin that we commit "respectable" sins without a thought.

I know that my thoughts have certainly spurred me to change my thinking about the state of my Christianity. I need to be saddened over sin, my own especially, and I need to truly be the follower that Christ would have me to be. One who comes before Him as a little child and depends on Him for absolutely everything, one who obeys without questioning, and who knows that He will hold my hand when times are scary. I want to be a Christian who changes the world's view of Christians as a whole. Sure, I have different views on things, but that is ok because if my heart's goal is to honor the Lord then that is what truly matters.